Yesterday another soccer mom and I were having a discussion about what would prevent young girls from getting pregnant and I would like to offer an internship to motherhood for those considering actions that might indeed place them in this very wonderful but often trying job.
We decided that you should not engage in sexual behavior if:
1. You never wish to catch poop in your hands
2. You can't type with one hand while managing three other things with the "free" hand.
3. You are not ok with projectile vomit down your shirt.
4. You are unwilling to pack enough food for a small army just to leave the house for an hour.
5. You are not committed to following through on EVERY promise/threat. Even if it means missing a fun outing or making a special treat at 2AM.
6. Your natural language does not flow into sentences that begin with "I" think it would be wise if....
7. Your idea of decorating the house involves a lot of colorful plastic toys and nothing that can be bought at Michael's in the craft area.
8. You do not want to teach the art of negotiation by explaining that a scrap of paper is not an enticing trade for a favorite toy.
9. You think you "deserve" uninterrrupted sleep.
10. You are not thrilled with handmade Mother's day cards that are full of treasured stickers that signify love.
I am not sure too many pre teens would take me up on my offer, and mind you I would not trade my job for anything... BUT it is a BIG job and I do wish people would think in terms of 18-20 years and not just one moment.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
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